VT SW: Return of the Jedi
by Ek01
Summary: The Death Star II is almost complete...but Cuke Skywalker and his Veggie pals will have something to say about that.
1. Prologue

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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

\--

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Cuke Skywalker--having completed his Jedi training--has returned to his home planet of Tatooine in an

attempt to rescue his friend Bob Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt. Little does Cuke know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored

space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star...the Death Star, JUNIOR. When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the galaxy...

——————————-


	2. Saving Private Solo

Jaunty bar music played from the Max Rebo band outside of the dark, disgusting place.

The smell of beer and other alcoholic beverages contaminated the air, along with substances too disturbingly nasty to mention. Chewie, Archie-p0 and R2-Pea2 wandered the halls of Jabba the Hutt's desert palace with Princess Leia, attempting to rescue the dashing, somewhat self-centered, (secretly in love with Leia) Bob Solo.

They walked some ways more, until they came to a hallway with a left and right entrance.

"We should split up." Said Leia.

"Perfect! How about you and Chewlotsa go left, while R2 and I go

right?" Asked Archie-p0. "We can communicate via com-link."

"Okay!" Said Leia as he handed her a com-link.

Archie-p0 and R2 went their separate ways, while Leia and Chewie went theirs. Leia and

Chewie walked a little ways, until the came to a room with a series of

doors.

"He's got to be behind one of

zees!" Said Leia. She opened one

door, it was the bathroom. Chewie

opened one door, it lead to a walk-in closet. Arch opened a door, it

lead to outside the palace. Finally, Leia opened another door labeled 'RM 237'.

Both Leia and Chewie were shocked to see what was behind the door.

There were two guy peas dressed up as little girls in matching blue dresses and ribbon-tied, brown,

curly hair.

"Red. Rum." Both of them said.

"*AH-A gaaaaWWWWRRGGHHHH!!!!(*CLOSETHEDOORCLOSETHEDOORCLOSETHEDOOOOORRR!!!!)" Chewie frantically growled.

"Well, I can't do zhat wihz you in my way, now can I?!!"

Leia pushed Chewie out of the way, and locked the door. She and

Chewie looked at each other and laughed awkwardly. They continued to walk the halls, until they saw what they were looking for.

There, on a wall as if he were a hunting trophy, hung Bob Solo. He still had that look of terror on his face from when the horrid incident occurred.


	3. Insert Labyrinth Reference Here

"How does one find his way around in this place?!" Exclaimed Archie-p0.

R2 beeped.

"You're right." Said Archie-p0. "I should calm down."

Just then, a creature working for Jabba walked in front of them. He had a lot of lumps on his head, he

was wearing a navy blue cloak, and had dark red eyes.

"Hmm..." Said Archie-p0. "I have an idea: I'll ask him for directions!"

Archie-p0 looked at the creature, then back at R2.

"Watch, R2, how I communicate with this...er...lumpy thing--he looks like a regular 'cool cat', so I shall utilize my knowledge of street slang." Arch explained.

"YO DAWG!!" He yelled. "WUTS DA 411?!"

"Say what now-what now?" Said

the creature.

"Whah-choo talkin' bout, Willis? DOOONNN'T you get all wiggedy-whack on me now, home boy! We got us a mess-age fo' yo brotha Jabba, and if y'all could direct us to him, that'd be all that n' a bag a chips!"

The thing looked at Arch, then sighed.

"*What now-what now."

(right this way)

Archie-p0 and R2 ran down the halls. The lumpy thing turned around and freaked out that both droids were gone.

"*What-now, hey yo!!" Exclaimed the lumpy thing.

(*"Hey! Where'd you guys go?")

Arch and R2 eventually caught up to Chewie and Leia, who had

carried Bob to another room away from Jabba's sight. Leia and Chewie placed the frozen Bob on a sofa.

"How are his vitals?" She asked

Arch.

Archie-p0 placed an ear to Bob's chest, and checked his pulse.

"He will live." Said Arch. "But he will

suffer temporary blindness."

"That's okay." Said Leia.

She pressed a button on the carbonite container. A flash of light filled the room, the it cleared. Only Bob and a pile of silver goo was left. Bob stumbled around, he took in air since he could breathe again.

"Where--who...wha.." He struggled to speak.

"It's okay, Hero..." Said Leia. "I'm here."

"Leia? I CAN'T SEE!!" Bob flailed wildly in Leia's non-existent arms. "WHERE AM I?!!"

"You're in Jabba's palace," said Leia, "And don't WORRY!! You're

gonna see again!!!!"

Leia clearly saw that Bob needed some encouragement, so she leaned in and gave him a kiss. Bob shuddered.

"Y-Y-you d-do like

me?"

"Well...when you're not cocky you're actually quite decent! Besides, we are the most loved

couple in the Rebellion--why not make the fanfic-writers' dreams come true?"

Bob and Leia looked at each other. These two had been arguing the entire course of their adventure, and it seemed like a joke that they

were a couple. But now, they were starting to like each other for real.

"Um..." Said Arch at the sight of the lovebirds 're-igniting their flame

of passion'. "We're going to go over

there..."

He, Chewie and R2 quickly moved to another room. Bob started making rather worried noises, so Leia stroked Bob's hair, the worried tomato starting to calm down.

"You know what your problem is?" Asked Leia.

"...I'm a jerk?" Said Bob.

"No." Replied Leia. "You just need to chill. Here."

'As the World Falls Down'

From the movie, Labyrinth

Bob and Larry records 1983

"And why is this in a full screen format?! Is this gonna be a song or SOMETHIN?!"

"I thought you couldn't see anything." Said Leia. "Just relax.."

Leia took Bob's non-existent hands, Bob reluctantly took her's, and they began to dance a slow, yet beautiful in-love type dance. A pink spotlight appeared on the two, setting the mood.

"There's such a

sad love

Deep in your

eyes.

A kind of pale

jewel

Open and closed

Within your eyes.

I'll place the sky

Within your

eyes."

"Isn't that Da--" Bob's thoughts were hushed as Leia kissed him, and the two continued to dance.

"There's such a

fooled heart

Beatin' so fast

In search of new

dreams.

A love that will

last

Within your heart.

I'll place the moon

Within your heart.

As the pain

sweeps through,

Makes no sense

for you.

Every thrill is

gone.

Wasn't too much

fun at all,

But I'll be there

for you-ou-ou

As the world falls

down.

Falling.

Falling down.

Falling in love.

I'll paint you

mornings of gold.

I'll spin you

Valentine

evenings.

Though we're

strangers 'til now,

We're choosing

the path

Between the

stars.

I'll leave my love

Between the

stars.

As the pain

sweeps through,

Makes no sense

for you.

Every thrill is

gone.

Wasn't too much

fun at all,

But I'll be there

for you-ou-ou

As the world falls

down.

Falling

As the world falls

down.

Falling

As the world

falls...down."

Bob dipped Leia close to the floor. He dipped her so hard, that she and Bob fell down. Luckily there were some throw pillows that broke their fall, and the couple began to make out vigorously.

"Is Jabba coming?" Asked Leia.

"I can't see, remember?" Replied Bob.

"Oh yeah..." Replied Leia.

"But I don't think he's gonna see us like this anytime soon. I see us as two planets, joined together in the same gravitational pull, floating in a

void of many stars..." Said Bob. "And those planets were made for each other. Just like us."

"Zhat's just..." Leia breathed. "Zhat's just so romantic...ze most tres romantic thing I have ever heard...I love you..." Bob and Leia kissed yet again.

Just then, Leia frantically looked around.

"Did you hear that?" She asked.

"Only sound I can hear is the beating of your heart, my dear..." Sighed Bob.

"No, really, listen!" Replied Leia.

From an unknown origin, the couple

could hear a deep, loud laughter that sounded like "hOh, hOh, hOh..."

"I'd know that horrible laugh anywhere..." Sneered Bob.

The curtains pulled back to reveal Jabba the Hutt. He was a morbidly obese gourd-like slug, with yellow eyes and a disgusting mucus-green complexion. Next to him was a weird little monkey thing that was laughin' its head off.

Archie-p0 and R2 came out from behind Jabba, along with the lumpy thing.

'Great.' Thought Leia, 'They're caught.'

"Terribly sorry, Master Bob and

Miss Leia." Said Archie-p0.


	4. Escape From Jabba!

Cuke stood at the end of a wooden plank on Jabba's skiff. He gazed down at the enormous hole at the bottom.

"Heh!" He said. "This isn't so bad!"

One by one, two, then three and four tentacles rose from the hole. Then, ten sets of teeth in one enormous mouth came out of the

hole.

"...holy mother of..." Cuke flinched back. "...I've heard of

being a big mouth, but this is ridiculous.." Said Cuke as he stared at the Sarlacc's gaping maw.

The Sarlacc looked up at Jabba and his compatriots.

"(You guys sure I should do this?)" asked the Sarlacc. "(He did blow up that Death Star, what if he does the same to me?)"

("Go on! TASTES JUST LIKE CHICKEN!") said a random alien to the Sarlacc.

"(Okay...)" said the Sarlacc. "(But next time I want something meaty and high in protein instead of this lousy fruit...)"

The Sarlacc opened its mouth extra wide. Cuke felt the prick of a guard's spear and jumped foreword a little.

"MOVE IT!!" Yelled the guard.

"Alright!" Said Cuke. "...Your funeral, not mine!"

Cuke jumped off the side of the plank, and used it to propel himself in front of the goons he needed to take out. He gestured to R2, who shot something out his storage compartment.

Everyone could see the flame of bright green and knew they were to meet their demise.

"...lets dance." Said Cuke, in a rather gravely voice. He proceeded to beat em' up.

"_Here I am,_

_Rock you like a _

_hurricane_!!!"

At that moment, one of the guards took off his armor, revealing himself to be Lando Calrissian!

Lando grabbed his spear and used it to whack the Gammorean Guards in the...er,

space between both their legs.

"_Here I am,_

_Rock you like a _

_hurricane_!!!"

"GraaaAa!!" Said Chewie.

"...behind me?" Asked Bob.

Chewie grunted a "yes". Bob turned, yanked out his blaster...and his pants fell down.

"Somebody turn up the A/C?!!"

Everyone laughed. Bob aimed his gun and fired that guy's head off.

"Did I get im'?" Asked Bob.

Chewie growled, translating to

"Bullsye!".

"_My body is _

_burning, it starts _

_to shout,_

_Desire is coming, _

_it breaks out loud!_

_Lust is in cages till _

_storm breaks _

_loose,_

_Just have to make _

_it with someone I _

_choose_!!"

A random alien started picking on little R2. He poked and poked his

metal body, the droid trying to push his hand away. Just then, a loud 'WHACK!' was heard, and the alien fell down.

Archie-p0 was behind him.

"...I am regrettably sorry for that, BUT NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY FRIEND EXCEPT ME!!"

Archie-p0 picked up a wood board and started whacking the guard again. When he had finished beating the tar out of that guy, R2

started pushing him towards the edge of the skiff!

"Wait, where are we going?" He asked, frantically. "R2! I couldn't possibly ju—-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAA!!!"

R2 pushed Arch off the edge. Arch landed right on top of a carrot about to kill Cuke.

"GET OFF ME!!" The carrot pushed Arch.

Just then, R2 jumped off the skiff and landed on the carrot. Chewie ripped the carrot's non-existent arms off and gave an 'oh yeah' growl.

"Thanks, guys!" Said Cuke.

"_The night is _

_calling, I have to _

_go,_

_The wolf is _

_hungry, he runs _

_the show,_

_He's licking his _

_lips, he's ready to _

_win,_

_On the hunt _

_tonight for love at _

_first sting_!!"

Meanwhile, things weren't going so well for Leia. She was trying to break her chain with some nail files, but so far, she'd broken all of them. Just as Leia was about to continue, Jabba dragged her closer.

"(You will learn to appreciate me...)" said Jabba.

He dragged her closer to his large, disgusting body. With this control

freak, Leia clearly knew now was the time to take action.

"HECK NO!!"

(Cue fast gospel organ w/ vocals)

"I, AM LAYIN' DOWN ZE LAW!!" Exclaimed Leia. She lassoed Jabba's neck with her chain. "...AND I, DO NOT NEED THIS DOG LEASH!!"

Jabba screamed and gagged as Leia proceeded to jump on his back and choke him. She choked and choked, until finally, after thirty

agonizing minutes of yelling and

screaming, the Hutt was dead. Leia then tied her end of the chain to the top of the sails. Her, R2, and Arch lifted up the enormous dead weight, and flung it into the air.

The weight of the dead Jabba caused Boba Fett's jet pack to activate, and Bob and Lando to fall, screaming. Boba screamed as his jetpack sent him straight into the Sarlacc pit! Thankfully, Bob and Lando were holding on by a rope tied to both their non-existent feet.

"YAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Exclaimed Bob as he and Lando swayed.

"Bob!" Called Lando. "Try to pull me up!"

"I can't!" Said Bob.

"What are ya, blind?!" Replied Lando.

"EXACTLY!!!" Exclaimed Bob. "GEE, HOW'D YA NOTICE?!!"

"...oh." Said Lando. "...yeah, I remember now, you were in carbonite. I'm sorry."

"Wait!" Said Bob, feeling the rope come upward. "We're goin' up!"

R2, Arch, Chewie and Cuke were pulling Bob and Lando's rope. As they pulled, Bob got dragged face-down in the sand. Suddenly, he jumped up and started to dance around.

"I CAN SEE AGAIN!!" Yelled Bob. "IT'S A MIRACLE!!"

"Now," said Cuke. "Let's go save Leia!"

The guys piloted the ship close to Jabba's skiff and looked around. No one was attacking them, strangely. Then they saw why: Leia stood in front of a dead Jabba the Hutt, along with all his other associates. She turned around.

"Sorry, boys!" Leia piped. "Looks like I rescued myzelf!"

Bob and Cuke looked at each other with wide mouths. They looked at Leia, and closed them.

Meanwhile, Oola had been watching the whole thing.

"That's my girl." She said, clapping with non-existent hands.


	5. Welcome to the Jungle

Eventually, The gang arrived at the Rebel Base entrance. Leia ran out, frantically changing into normal clothes, and she was still

pinning her hair up.

"Oh!" Said Leia. "Finally! All I have to do is give ze zecret voice password." She pressed a few keys on a keyboard and waited with the

guys.

'Welcome to the Rebel Base.' Said a computerized female voice.

'What is the password?'

"BUUUUUMM, BUMM...BUM-BUM-BUM-BUUMMM, BUM, YA DA DA DAAAA!!!!" Said Leia. "Access Granted." Said the computer. "Hello, Princess Leia Organic."

The door to the base pulled back, and everyone went inside. They were greeted most boisterously by the Rebel soldiers, droids and officials.

"Well!" Said Bob, looking at Lando. "Look who's a general!"

"I know right?" Said Lando, admiring his swanky new uniform, "They heard how I snuck into the palace to save you, and they straight up made me one of you guys!"

"Ahem..." Came a dignified, female voice. Mon Mothma emerged in front of all the soldiers, followed by Admiral Ackbar.

"Greetings, all." Said Mon Mothma. "Please be seated at this time."

Everyone obeyed. Cuke nudged Bob.

"...She looks even hotter than last time!" He whispered.

"Yeah.." Bob replied.

"We have just determined that

the Empire plans to build a second Death Star." Said Mon Mothma. "In

order to prevent this tragedy from sweeping the Galaxy yet again, while they construct the weapon, we destroy it. "How are we gonna do this?", you may be thinking. Well, we intend to have a strike team blow up the shield generator here on Endor, and we are going to send our best pilots to take out the Death Star II." Explained Mon Mothma.

"General Solo." Said Admiral Ackbar.

"...you know it!" Said Bob, winking and making a female Rebel faint.

"...It is with great honor and dignity, that I tell you that...you will be leading the strike team."

"WHAT?!" Said Bob. "But Aaaddmiralll!" He whined. "I wanted

to fly the Falcon!"

"No buts, Mr. Solo." Said Admiral Ackbar. "If you intend to be a general in this army, you're gonna have to leave the Falcon sometimes. That's an order!"

Bob looked distraught at this, but Lando placed a non-existent arm

around Bob.

"It's okay, bud." Lando said. "I'll take great care of her."

"Thanks, friend." Said Bob.

————

"So you're tellin' me you KILLED him?!" Said Cuke. "By yourself?!"

"Yep!" Replied Leia.

"WHAT A WOMAN!!" Exclaimed Bob. "Sheesh girl, you are hardcore!"

"Thanks!" Said Leia.

"Oh look!" Said Bob. "This is our

stop!"

The ship entered the gravitational pull of the moon of Endor.

The clouds surrounding the planet pulled back, to reveal a beautiful jungle. A large mountain range was in the distance, surrounded by thousands of thick trees and foliage. The Falcon (cleverly disguised as an Imperial shuttle) landed in a small clearing near a lake. The Rebellion ships containing the strike team soldiers also landed, and the soldiers emerged.

"Can ya watch the Falcon for a bit, bud?" Bob asked Lando as he handed him the keys.

"Sure thing!" Said Lando.

Bob, Leia, Chewie, Arch, and R2 started to walk into

the jungle.

"We'll call ya when we find the generator!" Called Bob. "Shouldn't

take long!"

\--

5 hours later

\--

In the jungle, a loud cry of "ARE WE THERE YET?!!" broke the natural silence. A flock of birds flew overhead in the distance.

"THAT'S THE NINTH TIME YOU SAID THAT, CUKE!!" Said Bob. WHY ARE YOU WHINING?!!"

"CAUSE MYYYYY FEET ARE KILLING MEEEE!!!" Yelled Cuke.

"Oh come on!" Yelled Bob. "You

blew up the Death Star, weren't afraid to take on the minions of a real fat guy, and your FEET hurt?!"

"...yeah..." Squeaked Cuke.

"Say." Said Leia. "I thought the base

was this way."

"Yeah, me too." Replied Cuke.

"I'm gonna look for someone to ask directions." Said Leia. She took her bag and disappeared into the jungle flora.

"Great." Said Bob. "My girlfriend's rescued, yet she leaves us."

"Well," said Cuke. "There's always

this way."

Bob, R2, Chewie and Arch looked to see a bridge crossing a river. Lightning crackled, and the skies got dark after Cuke said his sentence.

The gang and the other Rebels walked across the bridge and reached a more unexplored par of the jungle. 'Welcome, foolish mortals' was carved into the side of a tree, along with '999 ghosts 1 = _'.

"This joint gives me the heebie-jeebies.." Said Bob as they passed five busts (one of them was broken).

(Cue 'Otherworldly concerto/Grim Grinning ghosts' instrumental)

The gang passed many various things other than nature on their way to the base, such as some bride and Viking statues. To the left and right were tombstones with humorous limericks having to

do with the deceased person's

death.

'Here lies

Nathaniel, stuck in

a rut,

Because he

couldn't pay

Jabba the Hutt.' One tomb read.

'Here lies dear

Snooki,

Got her arms

ripped off by a

Wookiee.' Another

tomb read.

After going through the tombstones, the gang started wading through a thick, muddy swamp. Bob, Chewie and R2 were pretty beat, however Archie-p0 was happily floating across, holding a bright pink parasol and a

camera.

"Oh, I do love this planet." Said Archie-p0, taking pictures. "Such new, fascinating and rare species."

Bob's eyelid twitched. He felt something slimy on his body. It oozed around a little, then it bit him! Slowly, more started to arrive.

"I think some of those new species went up my underpants!" Exclaimed Bob.

"Here, climb on me." Said Archie-p0. "I'll help you." Archie-p0 pulled Bob's shirt back.

There were a lot of shiny, black, slimy things that had gripped onto his back.

"Oh...my." Said Archie-p0. "You've got a few Endorian leeches on you. Let me get them."

Archie-p0 extended a non-existent hand, and started to pick the leeches off Bob's back.

"...Ow!"

"YAA!!"

"...Hnng!"

"Hold still, Master Bob this is a rather large one!"

"GyaaAAA-HA!!"

The gang and everyone else had reached the end of the swamp. Cuke helped Chewie and R2 get out of the swamp. Archie-p0 pulled Bob out of the swamp and laid him on the shore. There he proceeded to get the last few leeches.

———————-

Unbeknownst to everyone, Bob's screams had caught the attention of some native tribe. They sat, waiting in a large tree above the gang.

"*Yub-hee-ba-wikiki!" Said one.

Translation:

"(*Intruders!)"

"*Balaka bla-ki-me." Said another.

Translation: "(*We must kill them.)"

\--

"My, this one is really in there..."

Said Arch, eyeing a nice, fat leech.

Archie-p0 grasped it, and started to

pull. He pulled and pulled, until the leech exploded and Bob was left bleeding tomato juice and feeling the painful scratches of the leech's teeth.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA HAAAAOOOOWIEEE!!!" Yelled Bob at the top of his lungs.

Just then, something rustled in the distance. A large net came down from the tree and came over the

gang. The net then tightened and pulled them up. In mere seconds, the gang was surrounded by thousands of furry pea Ewoks. They wore war paint, feathers and hoods, and they all held spears and tomahawks at them. Bob gulped.

"I--" Cuke was interrupted as Bob pulled him back.

"Stand down, wonder bread." Said Bob. "I got this."

Bob cleared his throat. He stuck out a non-existent hand and inhaled a lot of air.

"...HOW!!!!" He said in a deep voice.

The Ewoks stood back. Bob was feeling very awkward yet he pressed on.

"Uh...Me Bob!" Said Bob, trying to 'dumb it down'. "You take-um us to Sheild Generator! BIIIIG BIIIG BUILDING! Soon, good guys come! They...kill bad guys that try-um to kill-um you! Make big BIIIIG white men army on steroids! Me and...me friends with Good Guys! Do you understand-um me?"

The Ewoks simply blinked.

"O-KAY!" Said Cuke, pushing Bob away. "Thank you 'Tarzan'! Sorry guys, this is some kinda mix-up, just...please get us out of this trap and we'll be outta your hair, er, fur."

The Chief pushed his way through his people and looked at these newcomers. He gave a big smile.

"...aaaahhhh!!" Said the Chief. "You are humans! I see."

"Thank you." Said Bob. "Finally someone ge--"

All the Ewoks pointed their weapons at the gang. Bob pushed one of the spears in his direction back a little.

"WE HATE HUMANS.."

Cuke pushed their spears aside.

"Hold on!" Exclaimed Cuke.

"You can't just say you hate hu--" Cuke fell to the floor.

On his butt, everyone could clearly see he'd been shot with a fuzzy blow dart. He picked up his head, the drowsiness was starting to kick

in.

"I'm your,

priiiivate

dancer,"

Everyone stared as Cuke swayed around.

"A dancer for

money, da-da-da-

da, da-da-

da..."

Cuke shuffled to the left, picked up a stick and started using it as a 'mic'.

"Ya-da-da-da-da, da-ya-da-da da...hhH...any old music will do--"

Cuke dropped to the floor. The Ewoks picked him up and tied him to a spit. They grabbed Bob, R2 and Chewie.

"*Yub-y Ih." Said the Chief as his people carried Bob, Cuke, Chewie, and R2 away.

(*Now is the time for every good man to come to the aid of his party.*)

An Ewok shot a blow dart at Archie-p0. It simply bounced off his rear.

"Hey!!" Exclaimed Archie-p0. "I just had that buffed!"

"*Yub-oo ya ta!!" Said one. "Jijak

Yubnub na xalayoo marin-lla!"

Translation:

"(*Praise the Gods!! The Divine One has come!*)"

The Ewoks swarmed around Arch and placed a lei around his neck with a flower crown.

"Oh my!" Said Arch.

"What?!" Said Bob. "What happened?"

"They are using a primitive dialect, but judging by what has just happened, they think I'm a GOD!!"

Bob looked up at the Chief, who had a smug look on his face. He growled.

"DON'T THINK WE WON'T GET

OUTTA THIS, CAUSE WE WILL!!" He called.

"Yub-nub, yub-ee-Ka-cha-nub-ma ya-ta." Said the Chief to an Ewok carrying a fruit bowl.

(*This one speak too much.)

"*Da Chi." Said the

other. (*I see.) "*Yub-ga-mateh." He stuffed an apple in Bob's mouth. (*Shut up.)

————————-

————————-

Leia cleared through some foliage and looked around. Bob was right, this planet wasn't really inhabited...or was it? She sat down and leaned against a large log.

Just then, something fuzzy, like a little kitten was right next to her. She poked it and found herself staring into two, beady little eyes. It was an Ewok!

"Hey little fella..." She said, taking off her helmet.

The Ewok started moving around like it was scared.

"Oh, this?" Leia held out her helmet. "It's just a helmet, buddy!" Said Leia. "It's not gonna hurt you or anything! You hungry?"

Leia reached inside her bag, pulled out a peach, and handed it to the Ewok. The Ewok looked at it, smelled it, and took a bite. A large smile appeared on his face and he started to take more bites.

"Sheesh you're a starving little guy!" Said Leia. "Anyway, I'm trying to find the shield generator here, can you take me to it?"

The Ewok gave a loud whistle. More Ewoks appeared from the trees. The Ewok took Leia by her hand and led her into the jungle with his 'cousins'.

————————-

—————————

"Hey,

Uh huh huh,

Hey,

Uh huh huh..."

"...nice goin', Professor." Said Bob.

The Ewoks had Bob, Chewie, R2, and Cuke tied onto a spit where a

roaring fire was below.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir, but they really think I'm a god, despite the fact it

is highly against my programming

to impersonate a deity!" Replied

Archie-p0.

"What I like

about you,

You hold me tight,

Tell me I'm the

only one,

Wanna come over

tonight, yeah"

"Well then." Said Bob. "Why don't you use your 'divine influence'

AND GET US OUTTA HERE!!"

"No! They seem rather happy that they are going to kill you. Besides,

you've already offended them with your "me no speaky English"-native talk."

"That was offensive?!" Replied Bob. "I thought all native tribes talked that way."

"No." Replied Archie-p0. "Why, some people believe humans descended from these noble creatures."

Bob looked. The little space bears were dancing around the fire, some were preparing seasoning and

chopping vegetables. Others were playing flutes and ceremonial feast drums.

"Keep on

whispering in my

ear

Tell me all the

things that I

wanna hear

'Cause it's true

That's what I like

about you!"

Cuke awoke from the blowdart and looked around.

"Who are all those little guys?" He asked.

"They're Ewoks." Replied Bob. "They think "Professor" here's their God, and they kinda wanna eat us right now..."

Cuke started checking out these characters. Some Ewoks were throwing knives, dancing, and tattooing each other with war

paint. A few Ewoks twisted some sticks with flaming ends, others

actually swallowed and breathed out the fire!

"You sure they wanna eat us?" Asked Cuke. "They seem like my kinda people!"

"Well, look down." Said Bob.

Cuke screamed, because he had

just realized a roaring fire was directly below him!

"Ok." He said. "On second thought,

we gotta get outta here."

Cuke looked at Arch. He then had an idea.

"Say Bob! I have an idea!" Said Cuke. "They think Arch is some kinda king or whatever, right?"

"...God." Corrected Bob.

"Oh. Mm-hm." Said Cuke. "Anyway, we're gonna use him to help us get

out!"

"How?" Asked Bob.

"You'll see." Said Cuke.

"What I like

about you

You really know

how to dance

When you go up,

down, jump

around

Think about true

romance,

yeah!"

"Say, Arch!" Called Cuke.

"Yes, Master Cuke?" Replied Archie-p0.

"If they think you're a God and all, tell em' if they don't yet us go, you'll use your magic powers on em'!" He whispered.

"But Master Cuke," said Archie-p0, about to go off on one of his wordy, yet civilized and controlled arguments.

"...Will ya just do it?" Said Cuke.

"Okay.." Archie-p0 did so.

The Ewoks looked at him. With the Lite Vinaigrette, Cuke started to

levitate Arch, making it seem like Arch was doing it by himself. The Ewoks, not wanting to disappoint their "God" quickly untied the gang

and blew out the fire.

Just then, Leia emerged from one of the huts, wearing a brown dress and her hair down.

"Leia!" Said Bob. "Man, are we glad

to see you!"

Just then, the Rebellion soldiers came out from behind every bush and tree, and aimed their guns at

the Ewoks. The poor things raised

their metaphorical arms.

"Don't shoot em'!!" Said Leia, running and shouting. "Zhey are very friendly!"

A baby Ewok moved through the crowd of adult Ewoks, and looked

at a Rebel soldier. It smiled, then hugged the Rebellion soldier.

More followed.

"D'AAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!" Said everyone.

"Okay, Princess." Said a soldier.

"You've convinced us." He picked up an Ewok and they started snuggling.


	6. How we got here

"Miss Leia?" Said Arch.

"Yes?" Replied Leia.

"The Chief would like us to tell them more about our adventures." Said

Arch.

"Alright!" Said Leia. "Come on, everybody!!" She called to the

soldiers.

The gang, the Rebellion soldiers, and the Ewoks all gathered in a large hut, where Archie-p0 told the Ewoks the entire story of what had happened recently.

"*Oo-nah yub-kee'ejai, yub na- AIIIIEEEEE! Ma-ki ja lala'tai." Said Archie-p0.

("*And they were just about to die in that trash compactor, when R2 and I so nobly saved them from certain death.")

Archie-p0 told them more; how Cukw blew up the Death Star, how they saved Bob from Jabba the Hutt--not to mention Leia killed

him, and how they are to blow up the second Death Star.

The Ewoks "ooh"-ed and "ahh"-ed at Arch's story, then when he finished, the Chief and a few elders looked at each other.

When the Chief and elders finished, they nodded, and embraced each

one of the gang.

"We are now members of the tribe!" Arch happily twittered.

"Hooray." Said Bob, sarcastically. "Just what I always wanted."

Meanwhile, Cuke left the crowd and went outside to think. Leia approached Cuke, and placed her non-existent left hand closer to him.

"Hey, Jedi boy." Said Leia. She lightly punched his side. "Is zomething wrong?"

"No." Replied Cuke.

"Well, you're by yourself out here,

just staring at ze sky and looking down--zomething's gotta be wrong!" Said Leia.

Cuke thought a moment, yanked on the collar of his shirt a little, then stopped this inner battle he was having with himself. He cleared his throat.

"Remember that old Jedi master I was gonna see?"

"Yeah?" Said Leia. "Tell me."

"I don't know..." Said Cuke. "This thing might be kinda weird to you."

"Come on.." Said Leia. "I won't be freaked out or anyzhing."

Cuke sighed, then started to tell Leia about everything that had

happened.

\--

\--

Flashback!

\--

\--

One day on Dagobah, Yoga appeared to be acting rather strange. He wasn't eating, and he had trained himself to sleep with his eyes open, not to

mention the other day he was coughing up blood.

When Cuke asked him what was happening, Yoga simply stared.

"Dying, I am." Said Yoga.

"Really?" Said Cuke. "When do you think you're going?" He asked. Cuke then regretted that question, as it seemed kinda stupid.

"Tonight..." Said Yoga.

Cuke gulped.

"You can't go, my master!" He said. "You have so much to live for!"

"Yes..." Said Yoga. "Strange, the ways of the Lite Vinaigrette are. Underestimate them, do not. When 999 years old you reach, look as good, you will not..." Yoga wheezed. "Into bed, help me."

Cuke picked up Yoga and placed him into his bed, wrapping the sheets around him.

"If crazy, you think that's, till you hear this one, wait." Yoga cleared his throat. "Skywalker, you are not the last of...Another, there is. A sister, you have."

"Leia!" Said Cuke as he realized who it was.

"Yes..." Said Yoga. "Words right out of my mouth, you took the."

With that, Yoga disappeared, and

was no more.

\--

\--

Present Day

\--

\--

"IM' YOUR WHAT?!!" Said Leia.

"Insane, I know, right?" Said Cuke.

"AND VERDURA'S OUR WHAT NOW?!!"

"Yeah." Replied Cuke. "It counts, but it doesn't make sense. So anyway, I have to go confront my--er, our, father."

Cuke started to walk away. Leia placed a non-existent arm around him yet again.

"Do you really have to do this?" She asked. "You could get killed!"

"If I don't do this..." Said Cuke. "We all will be."

Cuke walked away from the Ewok camp, jumped in a starship, and flew away to the Death Star II. Leia watched him fly away from Endor.

"Come back..." She whispered.


	7. The Battle!

The next morning on Endor had arrived much quicker than it

seemed. This was just because Imperial forces had found everyone,

and were coming soon. Breakfast

was quickly given to all the soldiers in the form of coffee and a granola bar, while the Ewoks stuck to their

native bugs and berries.

Just then, while everyone was

waiting for something, a loud

gunshot boomed throughout the

atmosphere.

"The battle has begun..." Said Leia, gritting her teeth. She turned to her men, then back at the horizon.

Like a swarm of little, white ants in the distance the Stormtroopers slowly emerged. Some were even on speeder bikes.

Leia turned back to her soldiers and raised her gun, yelling, "A-TTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!"

All the Rebel soldiers cheered

and advanced toward the Stormtroopers. When it got rough,

they would simply give a whistle and the Ewoks would come out, baring some type of primitive weapon.

In order to get to the Shield Generator, the gang knew they had to act fast. Hiding in the jungle, they waited, until Bob raised his blaster and shot a speeder-bike riding Stormtrooper.

"Jump on!" He called to Leia, Arch and R2.

Leia jumped in front of Bob, and R2 and Arch were seated in the back. Bob revved up the engine, and away they went!

While Bob was driving, R2 saw something shocking.

"IN THE TREE!!"

Yelled Arch.

Bob and Leia aimed their guns and shot three Stormtroopers coming down from a tree on speeder bikes. There were more troopers along the way--Arch simply extended one of R2's legs, and tripped about eight of them.

"What's that?" Exclaimed Leia as she heard something 'whirrrrr!' closer to the speeder bike.

A couple of Ewoks wearing Stormtrooper helmets rode by on a speeder bike, firing blow darts at Stormtroopers with somewhat exposed skin. Others flew ahead on custom-made hang gliders and dropped enormous rocks on them.

All Leia and the gang could do was stare.

"Well," said Leia. "They're having the time of their lives."

\--

Meanwhile in space, there were only a few fighters left. They consisted mostly consisted of Lando and Nein Nunb, a guy named Wedge Ant-hills, and some other guys.

"You guys!" Called Lando on his com-link. "Break off the attack! The shield is still up!"

"ADMIRAL!!" Exclaimed Mon Mothma to Admiral Ackbar from her

com-link.

Admiral Ackbar quickly grabbed

his com-link.

"Yes?" Asked the Admiral.

"There are enemy ships in sector

47!!"

"HOLY BANTHAS!!" Exclaimed Wedge Ant-hills as he saw the enemy ships and stopped his X-

wing.

"That ain't right!" Said Lando, stopping his.

Poor Admiral Ackbar was already very stressed out from the trauma of war--this was just too much for the poor Mon Calamari.

He picked up his com-link and inhaled.

"ITS A WRAP!!--IT'S A RUSE--IT'S

A LURE!--IT'S A PLOT!!--IT'S A

BAIT--IT'S A SNAP--IT'S A DUPE!!--IT'S-IT'S..." He inhaled. "IT'S A

TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!"

\--

Back on Endor, things weren't exactly going well either. Most of the Stormtroopers had shot down quite a few Rebels and Ewoks.

Leia and a few others had arrived

at the Shield Generator. The Ewoks were trying to open it, but it was no use: they weren't exactly highly technological in that field (however

they could drive a speeder bike).

"Anyone seen Bob?" She called.

Ten Stormtroopers were about to shoot R2, Bob, and Arch, when a large AT-AT came by and shot all ten down.

Bob and the droids looked at their unexpected savior, wondering if he/

she was with the Empire or the Rebellion. The hatch opened, revealing it to be Chewie!

"Bud!!" Called Bob. "Thanks a million!"

Chewie growled, and threw out the actual AT-AT driver.

"Ugh..." Said the driver of the AT-AT. "YOU WIN!! TELL THIS THING TO CUT BACK ON THE ONION RINGS!!--oh..." The driver perished simply due to the smell.

An Ewok climbed to the top of an AT-AT in motion, and placed a symbol of the Rebellion on it, rapidly running away. The Stormtroopers quickly saw it.

"Are they with us or with them?" Asked one.

"

Well DU-UHHHH!! It's a REBEL SYMBOL!" Said another. "We HAVE to shoot it!"

The Stormtroopers shot the AT-AT, instantly exploding it. They were both surprised when they found the

charred corpses of five Imperial Officers inside.

"I told you we shouldn't have

did that!" The first Stormtrooper smacked the other one.

Finally, our heroes had arrived at the Shield Generator, the Stormtroopers on their tail. Bob pressed a few buttons. Some green lights and chime-like beeps came from the machine, signifying that the Shield was down! Bob and Leia squealed.

In space, The Death Star II was protection-less.

"The Shield is down!!" Called Leia.

"The Shield is down!" Other Rebels called. They continued to pass it on.

Just then, a few more Stormtroopers showed up. Luckily,

Leia knew exactly what to do.

"SERGEANT PEPPER!!!" Leia yelled. "GIVE EM' A 'TWIST AND SHOUT'!!"

Sergeant Pepper (an actual chili pepper) emerged with four other

peas in bowl haircuts. Pepper also wore a ridiculously sparkly pink suit, and he proudly raised his staff in the air.

"LET'S BLOODY DO THIS, MEN!!" Pepper and his men started to gang up on the Stormtroopers in a

"West Side Story" dance-style.

"Help...

I need somebody!

Help...

Not just anybody!

Help...

You know I need

someone--"

Pepper and his men then proceeded to attack the Stormtroopers with perfect choreography.

Meanwhile, out in space, Lando Calrissian and Nein Nunb were just chillin' in the Falcon while everyone else was just waiting for a signal.

"Lando!" Said Mon Mothma from

Lando's com-link. "The Sheild is down! You and Nein are clear for launch!"

"You got it!" Said Lando.

"C'mon, Nunb!" Said Lando to his co-pilot, Nein Nunb, who was kinda bored and eating from a bag of

Doritos. "Let's get down!"

"(You said it, man!)" said Nein Nunb. He put his chip bag down and pressed a button on the dashboard.

"Play that

Funky Music white

boy,

Play that funky

music

RIIIIIIIGHT..."

Nunb and Lando then put the Falcon on 'auto-pilot', and jumped into the blaster cockpits, taking out TIE fighters left and right.

Like Bob and Chewie, this groovy duo was inseparable.


	8. I never Sith’d for my father

On the Death Star, Darth Verdura and Emperor Pulpatine were watching as the TIE fighters were trying to defeat the Rebels.

An Imperial Officer walked in on them. "Lord Verdura?" He called.

"Yes?" Asked Verdura.

"Are you actually gonna kill your own son?" He asked. "That's harsh even for us, I personally think. Can you handle it?"

"...oh!" Exclaimed Verdura. "My dear little, ahem, Flunkey, you see, I very much intend to kill this young one."

"Mm-Kay..." Said the Officer, feeling uncomfortable about this. "You're the boss..."

At that very moment, the lights turned off. The door was opened by Cuke. He looked around, neither the Emperor nor Darth Verdura were

around. A flash of red emblazoned the lighting, which belonged to the lightsaber of Darth

Verdura!

"Hello, PUKE SKYWALKER!!" Exclaimed Verdura.

Cuke pulled out his lightsaber. "Same to you, BARF VERDURA!!"

"...touché." Said Verdura.

Just then, a large, black throne swiveled around, revealing Emperor Pulpatine. He and Cuke stared at each other, until the Emperor said;

"What's good, homeboy?"

Cuke stared at him.

"I'm looking for a new apprentice to train in the ways of a great power..." Said the old orange. "A power known as the Dark

Side...will you join?"

"No..." Said Cuke. "Your petty

alternate religion will do no good against the righteous religion of the Light Side and the power; the Lite Vinaigrette."

"Then, perhaps your "daddy-o" will convince you otherwise..." Said Pulpatine with an air of sarcasm and a crackly laugh.

Verdura advanced to Cuke.

"CONVINCE ME HE SHALL NOT!!" Exclaimed Cuke. The two began

fighting.

While Verdura and Cuke fought, so did the Rebels against the Death Star II. The fight grew longer

and longer, Cuke and Verdura dodging each other's moves.

Finally, with a few more swishes of his lightsaber, Cuke knocked out Verdura's lightsaber and Verdura was thrown to the floor. Cuke lay on top of Verdura, panting, his blue lightsaber nearest Verdura's neck.

"I will end you..." Said Cuke.

"Yesss..." Sighed Pulpatine, sitting on his throne. "Yesss...Let the hate flow through you..."

What had Cuke done? His eyes were starting to change from their normal white to yellow.

"NO!" Exclaimed Cuke. He stopped fighting, and let himself calm down. His eyes changed back to normal.

"You've failed, your Highness. I am a Jedi like my Father before me!"

Pulpatine was furious. His eyebrows clenched. Lightning crackled from the elderly orange's non-existent hands, and blasted Cuke!

"You will succumb to the lure of the Dark Side!!"

Cuke yelled in pain as the lightning

zapped his innards. Verdura heard his screams and couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

Despite Cuke being his enemy, Verdura couldn't bear to watch his only son get electrocuted by

Pulpatine.

While Pulpatine was doing the deed, Verdura kicked the old orange in the shin, and sent him into a wall.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!!" Exclaimed Pulpatine, getting

back up. "I'm TRYING to kill your nemesis!"

"I'm sorry, "Master"," said Verdura. "BUT NO ONE HARMS MY SON!!!"

Verdura sucker-punched Pulpatine a few times and carried him to the edge of the room.

"But Verdura!" Exclaimed Pulpatine, rubbing his blackened eyelids. "You are a Sith! You must come back to the Dark Side!"

"There is nothing you can do, "master"." Said Verdura. "I AM HERBY DENOUNCING MY FAITH IN THE DARK SIDE!!"

He tossed the old man down all the flights of rooms, lightning crackling.

"YOOOUULLLLLLL REGRET THIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSS!!!!" Yelled Pulpatine as he plummeted to the very bottom.

Darth Verdura stared out at Pulpatine and watched him die. Then, he fell on his knees and leaned against the wall, panting. Cuke came closer to him.

"My son..." Said Verdura. "Remove my helmet. With my dying breath, I wish to see you with my own

eyes..."

"No!" Said Cuke. "You'll die!"

"At least I will perish after seeing the one I love..." Said Verdura.

Cuke reluctantly grasped Verdura's mask and moved his non-existent fingers around, trying to find how to open it. Then, he felt it: there was a clasp on the side. He removed it, and started to unscrew his helm like a lid on a thermos. Cuke was in shock when he saw the face behind the mask...

Darth Verdura, without his mask, was just a balding, very malnourished, sickly-looking elderly zucchini.

His face was sunken inward from his many, many wrinkles, and his formerly bright green skin was very pale from not being exposed to sunlight. One by one, he slowly opened his two sky-blue eyes.

"...Cuke..." He sighed. "My boy. You're beautiful."

"Thank you." Said Cuke. "...Are you a Jedi, or a Sith?"

"I was a Sith." Sighed Verdura.

"But now, never have I seen so clearly."

"What is your name, father?" Cuke asked the former Sith.

"I..." He sighed. "I am Ne'zzakin Skywalker. I apologize for every

Sith-associated action I have ever done."

"I am Cuke Skywalker, your

offspring; I am your son..."

Ne'zzakin looked at

Cuke, Cuke at Ne'zzakin. Both embraced.

"YIPEEE!!" Exclaimed Ne'zzakin, "I. HAVE. A SON!!!!"

Both father and son made up for all those years gone by. They told stories, they took pictures, they embraced and laughed. Three hours passed, and Verdura could sense something.

"My son..." He said, some worry in his voice. "You must go."

"Why?" Asked Cuke. "This is the greatest day of my life!! I've met the

father I never knew, you're now a good guy, and I love you!!"

"Son..." Said Verdura. "If you don't get out now, they will blow up

the Death Star along with us.."

"NO!!" Cuke exclaimed. "STAY WITH ME, PLEASE!"

Ne'zzakin stood up and looked at the ceiling.

"...Obi, y' could've used the Lite Vinaigrette and sensed if he was gonna be this much of a weenie

when he grew up."

"Son," said Ne'zzakin, looking back at Cuke. "I AM your father, and as long as you are in MY Death Star, you're gonna have to TRUST me!"

"Trust YOU?! You used to be with the bad guys!! How do I know that you're not grabbing your saber, ready to stab me?!

"Then you're just gonna have to BE A MA--Wait...how could I forget, my boy: you've already

proven to me that you are."

"Really?" Said Cuke.

"Yes, my son. I've been sending your presence on this entire adventure you've participated in...I'm so proud of you, boy."

Ne'zzakin hugged his son.

"(snif)...u-Uncle O-Owen never told me something this meaningful...h-he would just tell me to shut up and get him a beer..." Said Cuke.

Both cucumber and zucchini laughed.

"Aw, Owen...he was such a crack-up..." Said Ne'zzakin.

Cuke looked at Ne'zzakin. Ne'zzakin hugged Cuke, then kissed Cuke on the cheek, and Cuke started to walk out.

"Goodbye, Father..." Said Cuke, who was tearing up.

"Goodbye...son..." Said Ne'zzakin. "You were right..."

Cuke entered his X-wing and looked back at Ne'zzakin. He smiled, and so did Ne'zzakin. Cuke's X-wing flew away from the Death Star II. Ne'zzakin smiled as the Death Star II exploded in a fiery inferno, along with himself.

His only son, Cuke Skywalker had made it back to Endor alive, a Jedi Knight and in one piece...


	9. Epliogue

"Doesn't take

much to make me

happy,

And make me

smile with glee,

Never, never will I

feel discouraged,

Cause our love's

no mystery..."

On the Rebel Base, a grand party was thrown. Rebels, droids, and Ewoks and other creatures alike

were dancing, having fun and partying.

Leia and Bob were gettin' down on the dance floor, R2 and Arch were playing with a few Ewoks, and Chewie had met a female Wookiee.

"Demonstrating, love and

affection,

That you give so

openly, yeah,

I like the way ya

make me feel

about ya baby,

Want the whole

wide world to

see!"

Archie-p0 took a break from dancing and walked around.

There, a few feet in front of him, was a beautiful, silver protocol droid. He could tell it was female, and looked exactly like an asparagus!

"She's so beautiful..." Sighed Archie-p0.

R2-Pea2 walked behind him, poked his side, and remarked, "Well,

go talk to her!"

"No, no, no, no, no...R2!!" Exclaimed Archie-p0 as R2-Pea2 pushed him to her. "DO STOP THIS "MATCHMAKING" BUISNESS THI--"

She was right in front of him. His metal face started to heat up from over-excessive thinking about how amazing she was. The lights from the party illuminated her beautiful silver body, making it seem more like diamonds than metal.

"I am Archie-p0, vegetable-c-cy-b-b-borg relations..." Archie-p0 stuttered, awkwardly.

"I am TC-14." Said the female droid.

"W-would y-you l-l-like an o-oil martini?" Asked Archie-p0. "Yes." Replied TC-14. "...Is he always like this?"

She said to R2. R2-Pea2 chuckled and beeped a 'no, not usually.'

"Woah woah,

you've got the

best of my love,

Woah woah,

you've got the

best of my love,

Woah woah,

you've got the

best of my love,

Woah woah,

you've got the

best of my

love!"

Meanwhile, Cuke was sadly reminiscing his father's last moments. He looked up at the stars, and felt as though Ne'zzakin

was right there.

"Hey, son!" Came a voice.

Cuke turned. There was a blue Lite Vinaigrette ghost that looked just like Ne'zzakin, only much younger and better-looking.

"Father!" Exclaimed Cuke.

Ne'zzakin gave him a ghostly embrace. Then, ghosts of Obi-Wan and Yoga appeared.

"Ya done good, kid!" Exclaimed

Obi-Wan. "We really missed ya!"

"Wise in the Lite Vinaigrette, you truly are." Said Yoga.

"Thank you, my masters." Said Cuke. "You have helped me greatly."

Just then, a loud *pop!* was heard. The ghost of a gourd Jedi Master

and the ghost of a female, Sith Zabrak asparagus materialized. The strangest thing is, they were

kissing!!

"Uh..." Said Cuke. "Who are you?"

"That's for you to know in the

prequel series." Said the Zabrak

female.

"The what?" Said

Cuke.

"Arvi-Gon Jin!!" Yelled Yoga.

"Awaited long, have I, this to do."

Yoga immediately slapped Arvi-Gon upside the head.

"WHAT WAS ZAT FOR?!" Arvi "rubbed" the mark Yoga had made on his left cheek.

"Being incompetent and in love with a Sith falling, that is for!"

"Flowing in and

out of changes,

The kind that

come around each

day,

My life has a

better meaning,

Love has kissed

me in a beautiful

way...

Oh yeah...

(My love my love)

Oh yeah...

(My love my

love)"

Wedge Ant-hills was gettin' down with Lando, Chewie, Bob and Nein Nunb. Somebody threw R2 into the air, then they threw an Ewok into the air.

A Jawa working for the Rebels was conversing with an Ewok, and pretty much everyone got a chance to dominate the dance floor!

"Demonstrating

sweet love and

affection

That you give so

openly, yeah

The way I feel

about ya, baby

can't explain it

Want the whole

wide world to see

Oh, but in my

heart, you're all I

need

You for me, me for

you

Oh, it's growin'

every day, ooh

Oh, oh oh oh oh oh

You've got the

best of my love,

Oh, oh oh oh oh

oh,

You've got the

best of my love

Oh, givin' you the

best of my love,

Oh, givin' you the

best of my love,

Oh, oh oh oh oh

oh,

You've got the

best of my

love..."

Cuke looked back up at the sky, where constellations of Yoga, Obi-Wan, Ne'zzakin and other Jedi heroes were shining brighter than any other of the stars.

He sighed.

"It's about Verdura, isn't it?" Asked Bob."

"I just..." Cuke started. "Despite

him being a bad guy and all, he said

he was going to the Light Side. I wish he could've lived long enough to experience the Light, Bob." Cuke

looked up at the sky, longingly.

"Cuke, buddy," said Bob, "People come, but they don't last forever. I remember my pops; died right after I turned three."

"He's right you know." Said Leia.

"I agree." Said Archie-P0.

R2 and Chewie beeped and growled in agreement. The Ewoks, droids and other Rebel soldiers agreed as well.

"Thanks guys." Said Cuke. He smiled and shed a few tears looking at his extended family.

"...Oh, I just love a happy ending." Said Archie-p0. He leaned in and "kissed" TC-14. She flinched back slightly.

"My! Sorry! This apparently, is how humans show affection." TC-14 simply returned the kiss in a rather passionate way.

Just then, Leia emerged from an Ewok medicine man's hut, a wide-

eyed look on her face.

"BOB!!" She called. "IM PREGNANT!!"

Bob took one glance at Leia, and fainted.

End...until the Prequel that is.


End file.
